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Metanoia

by IAMX

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1.
And the magic light That appears to shine Is not the light of Benevolent design No maker made me Everything I believed has died so silently Now I live on a wire chasing shadows My mind is tired But my heart’s too stubborn to let go No maker made me I will never be hijacked by the fairytale We can always just fuck away our sorrows Mouth to mouth we thrive We’ve got everything we need to survive
2.
I know I’ll never feel the same I know I may never accept the change but I want Happiness I’m staring blank at my screen Waiting for a sign, waiting for a smile to come to me Happiness Every day the news is death You power drunk fuckers are filling my head with despair Not happiness Liars Maybe I became too clean Maybe the drugs are the only way to be free Happiness No breaking the anxiety The man that I tried to but could never be faded out With happiness Everyday hypocrisy I see the zombies walking down the street and it kills me Their happiness Liars
3.
4AM Raging hard And I feel like I’m a child again Neon streets I’m so high I can’t quiet my bionic mind North star, I need you to guide me home North star, I want you to guide me home I need help I’ve seen bad things and I cannot make them disappear I want flesh To bring me happiness ‘cause I feel nothing, I feel nothing North star, I need you to guide me home North star, I want you to guide me home It’s the blue hour again In the world there is a horror of plagues Do you still love me? Stand tall, shoulders back, feeling brave Who am I? Who am I? There’s dirt under my feet, a breeze across my cheeks Scorpions in the sand I can feel them, I can feel them Reprogram, repeat I am real, I am good
4.
Can’t shake the headaches Can’t break the chain I ache for your touches Bittersweet foreplay When your legs come open I run ‘cause I’m afraid You will feel my every fear You will cry my every tear Say hello melancholia I want you to adore me I want you to ignore me Say hello melancholia Your pale complexion Tender embrace I feel elevation I feel disgrace But I know you need it And if I must I will obey You will feel my every fear You will cry my every tear Say hello melancholia I want you to adore me I want you to ignore me Say hello melancholia The never ending story of me is playing out tonight The manic stream, the paranoid dreams are waiting in line
5.
I’ve got a big house I’ve got a fast car I believe, I am free I’m a good citizen Proud of my children I love my wife I love my life But something isn’t sitting right Something wakes me up at night The background noise My government respects me My gun is my security My wealth accounts My loyalty counts I abide by society I give to charity I turn to faith when I cannot explain
6.
Insomnia 04:41
The day is incomplete The thoughts of total defeat I don’t know what is happening to me Or if I’ll die ‘cause I just never sleep You awoke into my night You could see the madness in my eyes I’ve lost control please save me from myself My conscience begs for time But you can’t fight the clock ticking inside I’m just a bigger baby me Acting smart, oh what irony Where will I end up tonight? Getting fucked or frying my mind? I’ve lost control please save me from myself Calm me down with your caress I’ll get off while I watch you undress Maybe the sex will help me to forget A precious transience, schizophrenic bliss Oh my god you’re beautiful Why do you stay with this neurotic fool?
7.
Look Outside 03:14
Look outside, the wilderness The wilderness is calling our names The blackest skies, the daunting stars The desert sun melting our cold hearts If you feel like the spark has gone We just need a place where we can belong Look outside at raw beauty The good work of a billion years The blackest wine in front of me Drink up little boy and wash down your tears Los Angeles you took care of me I raise my broken glass to your sanctuary
8.
Worship the screen Cocksucker lies There’s a stream of middle-class hypocrisy tonight Every time we beg for the rich man to provide There’s countries to be conquered People to divide Oh cruel darkness, want you to embrace me It’s a fucked up world and it’s driving my poor heart crazy We’re all sleepwalking The American Dream In a loop of building the cage and burying the keys There’s only good and bad, there’s nowhere in between Everybody loves to judge Everybody thinks they’re clean Oh cruel darkness, want you to embrace me It’s a fucked up world and it’s driving my poor heart crazy
9.
Aphrodisiac 04:05
Sweetheart, where do you come from? You’re burning like a fire in my head You’re the perfect vision Baby, beautiful heathen I love you like I’ve never loved before You’re my hardcore obsession I want your contact I think I cannot fight your aphrodisiac I know that only you can make me whole Only you can make me whole Sweat-drenched shallow compulsions I’m crying the tears of my youth they’re pouring out I get no satisfaction I’m drowning in virgins and Russians You’ll do anything to force out the burning bad in me You make me animal, you’re an infection I want your contact I think I cannot fight your aphrodisiac I know that only you can make me whole I’m feeling that only you can make me whole
10.
Surrender 03:40
Checking my heart again It’s still beating Grayer than winter days The clouds in my head All my life I’ve been changing lanes I’m so bored of taking my chances Of making mistakes Now I need to surrender Oh I want to surrender Years in a concrete box TV, vodka shots Breaking my knees on stage Repeat and get up again All my life I’ve been changing lanes I’m so bored of taking my chances Of making mistakes Now I need to surrender Oh I want to surrender Freaks are dying Where did we go Berlin?
11.
Wildest Wind 04:46
You’re the wildest wind The electric moon Sunday morning photographs will only open Sunday morning wounds When the melody ends I will be waiting here for you My wildest wind Come blow into my room You’re with me Walking the fields of perversion and mockery But we’re changing Piecing together our jigsaw of failures I miss you Even in your four day therapy vacation But the light here Is brilliant enough to help me focus You’re the wildest wind You’re the home beneath the ruin Self loathing or the darkest drug Will never keep me from loving Oh you make my heart sing Every time you brush against me My wildest wind Come make me smile again

credits

released October 2, 2015

All music & lyrics written by Chris Corner
All songs performed, produced, programmed, mixed and mastered by Chris Corner in Los Angeles and Wonder Valley, CA
Additional vocals by Janine Gezang on tracks 1,2,3,7,8,11

Cover art by Laurence Demaison www.laurencedemaison.com


I dedicate this album to Bernadette. You walked with me through the darkness and I will never forget.

Eternal thanks to:
Marjorie and Tony Corner, India, Deborah Ormondroyd, Mike Gappy, Maurice Gappy, Reinhild & Wolfgang Schneider, Anton, Janine Gezang, Steve Clifford, Simon Merritt, Tom Philips, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Carl Jung, Tiffany Steffens, Gary & Gemma Numan, Liam Howe, Nick Wood, Jim Abbiss, Danny Drysdale, Johannes von Bentzel, Brett Leitch, Sammi Doll, Stefan Lohr, Lydie Hornstein, Danny Lohner, Adam Elfin, Dave Heckman, Stageit, Brad Shenfeld, David Zonshine, Jason Fiber, Steve Ferguson, Pledgemusic, John Giovanazzi, Chop Shop Music, Pete Nowalk, Rey Roldan, Polar & Poppy

To all X Lovers, without you this music would not exist.

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IAMX Los Angeles, California

Chris Corner's prolific solo project. Originally founded in 2002 as a departure from Sneaker Pimps, IAMX is known for electronic experimentation, punk energy, and confessional lyricism. Learn more at the links below.

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